Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations and outcomes.
In western ethics, integrity is regarded as the quality of having an intuitive sense of honesty and truthfulness in regard to the motivations for one's actions.
[citation needed] Integrity can be regarded as the opposite of hypocrisy,[1] in that it regards internal consistency as a virtue, and suggests that parties holding apparently conflicting values should account for the discrepancy or alter their beliefs.
The word "integrity" stems from the Latin adjective integer (whole, complete).[2] In this context, integrity is the inner sense of "wholeness" deriving from qualities such as honesty and consistency of character.
As such, one may judge that others "have integrity" to the extent that one judges whether they behave according to the values, beliefs and principles they claim to hold.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
100 Ways to Connect with your Teens
Having a 20 year old son, an 18 year old son a 16 year old daughter and a 10 year old daughter has brought LOTS of challenges to our family. Nothing can really prepare you for raising teenagers although, I have found some tips that have helped my husband and myself get through the crazy years. One more thing that has really helped us is not on this list but I can honestly say it has been one of the best decisions we ever made for our family. Working from home and loving what I do has changed all of our lives in a huge way. I know not everyone has the option to work at home but I do and I'm blessed to have a great business that my family loves to be a part of. :D
By: Debra Hapenny Ciavola, Ph.D.
1. View adolescence as an adventure.
2. Respect their privacy.
3. Create family times around activities they enjoy.
4. Keep the delicate balance between holding on and letting go.
5. Understand the nature of the adolescent beast.
6. Take advantage of an unexpected connection.
7. Bite your tongue.
8. Don’t take their chaotic behavior or mood swings personally.
9. Help them discover their spirituality.
10.Catch them doing something right and praise them.
11. Influence your teens’ decision making, but don’t say “I forbid.”
12. Give privileges with age and responsibility.
13. Be their mentor and ally.
14. Guide them, not manage them.
15. Be clear about expectations and the consequences for not meeting those expectations.
16. Be your teen’s advocate.
17. Show true interest in their activities.
18. Expect miracles.
19. Be their parent. Teens do want rules, limits, and questions from you.
20. If your can’t police, monitor or enforce a rule, don’t have it.
21. Watch the little rules that poison relationships.
22. Spend time alone with your teen.
23. Ask open ended question, such as “What are you learning in your history class?”
24. Encourage them to talk it out.
25. Actively supervise your teen’s exposure to media violence.
26. Acknowledge your teen’s fears, even if you do not agree with them.
27. Control your own behavior.
28. Talk about gangs and cliques.
29. Allow them safe and healthy outlets for their energy.
30. Use “I” statements rather than “You”.
31. Enforce the important stuff, not the little stuff.
32. Seek to understand what your teen is really saying rather than reacting.
33. Share something personal that relates to your years as a teen.
34. Avoid giving unwanted advice.
35. Discuss personal matters on sex and fears.
36. Give your teen the impression that you trust them to do what is right.
37. Listen patiently to your teen’s reasons for wanting to do something.
38. Connect with your teen. Reflect on your adolescence.
39. Avoid lecturing.
40. Be someone they can believe in.
41. Make your home a place where teens want to hang out.
42. Talk less about the media and more about real heroes in our country.
43. Make a list of ten things you like about your teen and tell them.
44. Teach them how to be compassionate, empathetic, and fair.
45. Show compassion to other teenagers.
46. Keep your face relaxed when they are telling you something you don’t want to hear.
47. Talk about drinking and its consequences. Make your expectations known.
48. Help them establish their own autonomy while maintaining a loving relationship with you.
49. Support your teen’s interests and encourage in their accomplishments.
50. Have regular family meetings in which the whole family talks things over and makes decisions together.
51. Ask what worries them most about their future.
52. Use natural and logical consequences, so discipline makes sense.
53. When they come home from an event ask, “How did you show good character?”
54. Teach respect for life in all forms.
55. Ask if they would like to go out to eat, run an errand, or go shopping with you.
56. Show up to watch them in their activities. Clap loudly.
57. Talk to their friends, learn their names, and let them confide in you.
58. Work together in community activities.
59. Learn more about their world.
60. Believe they can make a difference and be a success.
61. Admit when you are wrong. Be able to say, “I’m sorry.”
62. Hug them often.
63. Say, “I love you. I’m proud of you.”
64. Show your teen respect.
65. Eat dinner together four to five days a week.
66. Never berate or belittle teens in front of their friends or peers.
67. Ask their opinions.
68. Give them room to breath to balance independence with dependence.
69. Set standards in clothing while still allowing them to express themselves.
70. Talk to your teen when there is not a problem.
71. Listen carefully to what is being said as well as what is not.
72. Have daily conversations.
73. Share your concerns rather than being the undercover cop.
74. Keep the discussions with your teen confidential unless they are involved with something dangerous.
75. Follow through on promises.
76. Allow your teen to take responsibility when you see them handling it well.
77. Forgive your teen when they make a mistake.
78. Negotiate new challenges.
79. Give your teen increasing autonomy (even if it kills you).
80. Accept all of your teen’s feelings as long as they are respectfully conveyed.
81. Schedule times to talk about unappealing topics. Do not catch on the fly.
82. Focus on what your teen did right before offering constructive criticism.
83. Make more statements rather than asking questions.
84. Talk to your teenager rather than at them.
85. Don’t over-react.
86. Accept they will have moody behavior and teach them how to deal with it.
87. Allow them to make decisions about their own lives whenever possible.
88. Remember you are in the process of “people-making.”
89. Express words of appreciation.
90. Listen with your heart.
91. Help them develop a sense of humor by telling funny stories of your day.
92. Enforce mutually acceptable behavior standards.
93. Listen to the whole story before you react.
94. Use natural and logical consequences when a boundary is broken.
95. Cook together or teach them how to cook.
96. Wait up until they come home.
97. Talk in the dark after the house is quiet and they are tired and relaxed.
98. Find out if they want you to fix it or just listen before you give advice.
99. Discover a shared passion together.
100 .Remember, children become who you predict them to be.
By: Debra Hapenny Ciavola, Ph.D.
1. View adolescence as an adventure.
2. Respect their privacy.
3. Create family times around activities they enjoy.
4. Keep the delicate balance between holding on and letting go.
5. Understand the nature of the adolescent beast.
6. Take advantage of an unexpected connection.
7. Bite your tongue.
8. Don’t take their chaotic behavior or mood swings personally.
9. Help them discover their spirituality.
10.Catch them doing something right and praise them.
11. Influence your teens’ decision making, but don’t say “I forbid.”
12. Give privileges with age and responsibility.
13. Be their mentor and ally.
14. Guide them, not manage them.
15. Be clear about expectations and the consequences for not meeting those expectations.
16. Be your teen’s advocate.
17. Show true interest in their activities.
18. Expect miracles.
19. Be their parent. Teens do want rules, limits, and questions from you.
20. If your can’t police, monitor or enforce a rule, don’t have it.
21. Watch the little rules that poison relationships.
22. Spend time alone with your teen.
23. Ask open ended question, such as “What are you learning in your history class?”
24. Encourage them to talk it out.
25. Actively supervise your teen’s exposure to media violence.
26. Acknowledge your teen’s fears, even if you do not agree with them.
27. Control your own behavior.
28. Talk about gangs and cliques.
29. Allow them safe and healthy outlets for their energy.
30. Use “I” statements rather than “You”.
31. Enforce the important stuff, not the little stuff.
32. Seek to understand what your teen is really saying rather than reacting.
33. Share something personal that relates to your years as a teen.
34. Avoid giving unwanted advice.
35. Discuss personal matters on sex and fears.
36. Give your teen the impression that you trust them to do what is right.
37. Listen patiently to your teen’s reasons for wanting to do something.
38. Connect with your teen. Reflect on your adolescence.
39. Avoid lecturing.
40. Be someone they can believe in.
41. Make your home a place where teens want to hang out.
42. Talk less about the media and more about real heroes in our country.
43. Make a list of ten things you like about your teen and tell them.
44. Teach them how to be compassionate, empathetic, and fair.
45. Show compassion to other teenagers.
46. Keep your face relaxed when they are telling you something you don’t want to hear.
47. Talk about drinking and its consequences. Make your expectations known.
48. Help them establish their own autonomy while maintaining a loving relationship with you.
49. Support your teen’s interests and encourage in their accomplishments.
50. Have regular family meetings in which the whole family talks things over and makes decisions together.
51. Ask what worries them most about their future.
52. Use natural and logical consequences, so discipline makes sense.
53. When they come home from an event ask, “How did you show good character?”
54. Teach respect for life in all forms.
55. Ask if they would like to go out to eat, run an errand, or go shopping with you.
56. Show up to watch them in their activities. Clap loudly.
57. Talk to their friends, learn their names, and let them confide in you.
58. Work together in community activities.
59. Learn more about their world.
60. Believe they can make a difference and be a success.
61. Admit when you are wrong. Be able to say, “I’m sorry.”
62. Hug them often.
63. Say, “I love you. I’m proud of you.”
64. Show your teen respect.
65. Eat dinner together four to five days a week.
66. Never berate or belittle teens in front of their friends or peers.
67. Ask their opinions.
68. Give them room to breath to balance independence with dependence.
69. Set standards in clothing while still allowing them to express themselves.
70. Talk to your teen when there is not a problem.
71. Listen carefully to what is being said as well as what is not.
72. Have daily conversations.
73. Share your concerns rather than being the undercover cop.
74. Keep the discussions with your teen confidential unless they are involved with something dangerous.
75. Follow through on promises.
76. Allow your teen to take responsibility when you see them handling it well.
77. Forgive your teen when they make a mistake.
78. Negotiate new challenges.
79. Give your teen increasing autonomy (even if it kills you).
80. Accept all of your teen’s feelings as long as they are respectfully conveyed.
81. Schedule times to talk about unappealing topics. Do not catch on the fly.
82. Focus on what your teen did right before offering constructive criticism.
83. Make more statements rather than asking questions.
84. Talk to your teenager rather than at them.
85. Don’t over-react.
86. Accept they will have moody behavior and teach them how to deal with it.
87. Allow them to make decisions about their own lives whenever possible.
88. Remember you are in the process of “people-making.”
89. Express words of appreciation.
90. Listen with your heart.
91. Help them develop a sense of humor by telling funny stories of your day.
92. Enforce mutually acceptable behavior standards.
93. Listen to the whole story before you react.
94. Use natural and logical consequences when a boundary is broken.
95. Cook together or teach them how to cook.
96. Wait up until they come home.
97. Talk in the dark after the house is quiet and they are tired and relaxed.
98. Find out if they want you to fix it or just listen before you give advice.
99. Discover a shared passion together.
100 .Remember, children become who you predict them to be.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Why Women Cry
A little boy asked his mother, 'Why are you crying?' 'Because I'm a woman,' she told him.
'I don't understand,' he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, 'And you never will.'
Later the little boy asked his father, 'Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?'
'All women cry for no reason,' was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, 'God, why do women cry so easily?'
God said:
'When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue with out complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.'
'You see my son,' said God, 'the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides.'
..
'I don't understand,' he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, 'And you never will.'
Later the little boy asked his father, 'Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?'
'All women cry for no reason,' was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, 'God, why do women cry so easily?'
God said:
'When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue with out complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.'
'You see my son,' said God, 'the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides.'
..
Friday, July 2, 2010
Personal and Professional Development
Wow! June literally came and went right before my eyes. June was a very busy but productive month for me and my business. That's the way I like it!!
As I sit here today, July 2nd, thinking about the last couple of months I can honestly say I have an awesome life. My business is growing at a good pace that I'm really happy with and my family is doing so well. I have learned that even with the curve balls that life throws at me, I can still be happy. Of course, there will always be adversities and interruptions but I've been doing this (work, parenting, wife) long enough to NOT let them throw me off and.
I have been able to work on some personal development and some professional development. Most people don't realize that working on personal development can make a huge difference in all their relationships. I know I never thought to work on personal development before I started working my business. I have learned so much and because of what I have learned, not only has my business been doing well, my marriage has been wonderful and so has my relationships with my teenagers. If you have teenagers you know how hard it can be to deal with them sometimes.
On my facebook wall I post positive quotes daily. I post anything that has to do with working on my attitude to relationships to success. I believe what I post and I try my darnest to live by it. Believe it or not, I have had someone tell me that my positive attitude makes them sick!! For the most part I have people telling me I'm very encouraging. I want to be encouraging and uplifting. I want my attitude to be contagious to my friends, acquaintences and my family! I'm in control of my joy and happiness. I choose to be happy. That's is one reason I work on personal development.
Here are some of the leaders I follow and learn from...
God (Bible)
Gary Ryan Blair
Robin Sharma
Brian Tracy
Keith Harrel
Dave Carnegie
John C. Maxwell
I encourage all my readers to work on their personal development. Don't know where to start? Google Personal Development and start there. I promise it will make a positive difference in your life!
Blessings!!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Ready for a new week!
I remember dreading Mondays. As much as I liked my job I hated going to work Monday through Friday. I hated the routine I had, having to get up, get my kids up and get everyone out the door by 7:30 every morning. When I resigned from my corporate job I knew I didn't want to go back to work for a long time. I wanted to be the one leading my kids in the right direction and being involved more in their lives than their teachers or society was. Society wanted my kids. No way was I going to give them over. When I found this home business I wasn't looking for a way to work, or earn money. It was not worth losing my kids to the public school system. After a few months of wondering if I could really work at home and raise my kids the way I wanted to raise them I finally decided to give it a try.
This has been the best decision I have ever made, hands down! It is Sunday evening. I can't wait to get to work tomorrow morning. It's also the end of the school year. With the school schedules inconsistent and school functions I don't have to miss a beat with my work. I love that I can work my job around my family, instead of working my family around my job.
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